Is Your Motto –

‘If you want something done right, you have to do it Yourself’ ?

If this is (or at one time was) your motto, then what I’m writing here will be of interest to you.

What I’ve found in my work with women (and myself) is that nothing short of perfect is acceptable to a Perfectionist and the usual motto for someone who has this tendency is ‘if you want something done right, you have got to do it yourself’.

And, if they are so exhausted, under stress or attempt to do it differently by actually delegating whatever the job is then they are usually frustrated and disappointed at how the end product turns out.

Perfectionist

I have written about the Perfectionist before (see blog dated 24th July) and am doing so again – maybe in a slightly different way.

You see, that drive to be good or to excel doesn’t mean that you don’t do it. No, what I am talking about here is that you can still go for excellence without demanding perfection from you or anyone else. You will still feel okay about yourself (or others) if you succeed or not as you will know that you have been the best you can be – have given of your best shot.

Another thread to your Perfectionist can also be the shame of failing and so you avoid anything new or difficult as it is easier not to try and risk shame and humiliation. You might know this aspect of yourself when you don’t ask questions in a meeting, or speak out in a group as you are frightened of appearing ‘stupid’ or even find when you have stymied yourself from speaking that someone else says more or less what you were going to say, and gets applauded for it!!!

GOOD ENOUGH

It is a hard habit to break due to our fear, and also even if you do do everything perfectly, you then have to keep doing it again and again – what pressure! You can’t take your eye off the ball for a minute!!

I’ve found out in a distorted way that perfectionism is a refusal to let yourself move forward as it inhibits success. It also impacts on others at home or at work as the stress leaks out in different ways.

GOOD ENOUGH

You (like I had to do) have to eventually decide what is ‘good enough’, and then you can be selective about where you put your time and effort. And, even more so, not get yourself in a tizz over routine tasks and waste time when actually all that is required is adequate effort.

I am not asking you to drop your high standards. I am asking you to begin to let go of your need to be liked, admired and your shame when you fall short.

You are a highly capable and successful woman who can honour your desire to be the best you can be while letting go of your unrealistic and self-limiting tendencies and so take pressure off yourself. Breathe into that place inside you that reminds you that you are the one who is in charge and not the rest of us.

If you want to overcome your Self-Doubt so you can really acknowledge you are in charge of You, I’d love you to contact me I will ‘sit alongside you and have your back’ while you re-connect with your Inner Confidence.

Extra Good News

I’ve been invited to speak at The Love Summit on Sunday, 24th September, at Chelmsford City Racecourse, Essex, so why not have a day out and hear me in person – it’ll be a great Event