I was asked a year or so ago by Sarah Arrow as to what was behind my always ending my e-mails and blog messages with an ‘x’ or two and so thought that this would be a good blog for me to return to again!
Signature
Yes, this seems to have become part of my signature. Personally, it’s because I am quite a friendly person and this would be what I do to those I correspond with as a rule.
No, I don’t do it on business letters or to strangers – only when I have got to know them!
Fist in a Velvet Glove
It also may be I want to be seen as likeable and feminine. AND it also means that I can normally get away with being forthright! An American colleague has said that I am like a ‘fist in a velvet glove’. People don’t expect me to give feedback or offer comments in a way that, coming from others, would seem harsh. It also seems to be more a British thing and can amuse and baffle some men and women new to our country as they don’t quite know how to react.
Research
Some research has been done on such a simple act of putting ‘x’ on your tweets, texts and blogs. It would seem to have come from many years ago when quite simply it was about making your mark as a ‘x’ was seen as your signature back in those days.
And nowadays, it seems that what was a once-intimate sign-off is feminising the workplace, for better or worse. The ‘xs’ are changing the world! They can be seen as ‘your strong demands come with a little bit of sugar’.
Another thing that can happen is that your ‘x’ can spread the ‘xs’ further as it’s difficult for you not to put one back and so on until more of us are doing it!
Usually the more ’xxx’s you put the more affection you are expressing. Or, for me, it may simply be that I loved your wit!
It’s more a woman thing than a male thing. And it is found that it is the younger and the older generation who mainly do it – although perhaps some older people aren’t so sure about it except to family.
What can go wrong?
Well, three things can go wrong! It could be seen wrongly as some kind of ‘turn on’ or being overly familiar so I only do it with women, and also men who are friends or am getting to know slowly through some other way. I hold it that it’s the problem of the other as to what they read into it.
Another thing is – what happens when I forget to put an ‘x’ genuinely? Some may see it as upsetting in some way or that something is wrong with our relationship. You may then get all worked up or worried because of this omission of a ‘x’ or two. When it’s not so genuinely, maybe I am attempting to punish you and am coming from a passive-aggressive stance!
Finally, it can simply be irritating for you when you see it time and time again so you can choose to ignore it or them.
Of course, as a Psychologist there can be many reasons as to why I do it!! And I see it as being polite and friendly, hoping you’ll like me and me telling you that I like you or what you say or have written. If it also means that you’ll like me then great and if not, I can live with that too.
Anyway there’s room for thought here around something so simple as putting a ‘x’.
Love to have your thoughts on why you do or don’t do it.
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PS. Want a one-off ‘MOT’ or a ‘catching up with yourself’ session? As well as ongoing work, I specialise in these for those already on their personal development journey. Contact me to find out more irene@irenebrankin.co.uk, via my website www.thevisiblewoman.com or have a 30 minute Discovery Session with me.
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Thanks for explaining this, Irene. You, Sarah and some more friends made me always wonder what that x means. Now I know 🙂 MCx <3
Isn’t it funny what we know and others don’t!!! Pleased to clear it up and thank you for commenting xxx