“Not everything that’s faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced”

(James Baldwin)

I love seeing people opening up, blossoming and re-connecting with their dreams and their gifts. It is more than heartwarming, and I’m not just talking about those women who have been clients, or in my groups, or on my workshops or retreats. It is seeing and hearing about people who are no longer in denial of who they are and what they offer the world. I can also find it painful when I see them go into denial of themselves.

Denial

When you go into denial, not only about losses but about the good happenings too, it can come from the good intention of protecting yourself while you take things in. It gives you space to breathe, accept, get clarity and then to choose what your next step is. The downside can be that if you stay there too long, denial stops you from accepting and owning your truth.

Truth

You can’t begin to grieve for ‘what has happened, what could have happened ………’ until you acknowledge your truth of your denial – your fear – your wish to shut down.

It’s about coming to terms with your losses, your possibilities and what you’ve left behind of you. It is also about how life has turned out and how it could have been if you had chosen to allow all of you into the picture. It’s about letting go of your dreams, expectations, hopes and coming into the reality of what is – this life you now have.

Reality

No way am I saying it is easy to come into your reality – not at all. It can be really painful and I can tell you that from my own experience. As I said before, I can find it painful to see you hiding your light under a bushel when I can see what you have to offer. And I can understand you staying within the safety of your comfort zone as most, if not all, do this at least at times. What I’m saying is, it is about being conscious and aware that you have a choice and can make decisions consciously to allow you to be visible and re-connecting with those dreams as you are now.

Many of us are afraid of allowing ourselves to be visible as then our vulnerability can also be seen. And because society classed it as ‘weak’ when we were growing up, we are afraid of standing up and being counted again. And yet, this way we can release all that energy that has been tied up keeping that door shut on ourselves. It is hard and it is about letting go to all those feelings we have shut off from too. And all those wonderful unique gifts you have to offer the world.

Open the door

You see you are shutting part of yourself off behind that door. Yes, open that door when you choose to open it as you still have the choice of when and how. Then it is time to come into the reality of what is and then there is an opening – a space for those new dreams and possibilities.

I want to remind you that when you allow yourself to be you, you are taking your power!!

Sometimes when others make you feel 
like you are nothing, 
look inside your heart and read 
what your soul wrote inside: 
‘I am enough’
(Dodinsky)

So it is time to step up, step out and be comfortable in your own shoes. You are Enough!!

GO WELL.

Have you had a look at my new Facebook Group yet? It’s called SIFITY (Stop It, Fuck It, Thank You) and it’s for those women who are on the road to facing their denial and owning ‘I Am Enough’ x