Some of you may recall I did a blog on hugging (‘Hands up for Hugs’) and there was actually research showing inspiring information on the effects on us when this happened. In my opinion, it is so important that I am going to repeat it below –
“The average length of a hug between two people is 3 seconds. But researchers have discovered something fantastic. When a hug lasts 20 seconds, there is a therapeutic effect on the body and mind. The reason is that a sincere hug produces a hormone called “oxytocin”, also known as the love hormone. This substance has many benefits in our physical and mental health, helps us, among other things, to relax, to feel safe and calm our fears and anxiety. This wonderful calming is offered free of charge every time we have a person in our arms, we cradle a child, we cherish a dog or cat, we’re dancing with our partner, the closer we get to someone or just hold the shoulders of a friend.” (Robert Milstein)
Oxytocin
I didn’t know that when we greet each other through some form of physical contact, our brain releases oxytocin – not just the named ‘love hormone’. It is also known as the trust hormone which is also released during orgasm!! Did you know that or is it just me who didn’t??
So this oxytocin does lots of good things as well – reducing cortisol levels, lowering blood pressure, supporting us as we deal with depression and also boosting empathy. Even more than that, it has also been shown to improve our memory for faces and its’ brain presence helps us to make new friends.
Greeting
It is really interesting for you to reflect on how you do greet others. Is it by
Shaking hands
Kissing on the cheek – 1, 2 or 3 times
Rubbing noses (the Inuits)
A Touch of the shoulder
I know when it comes to the kissing on the cheek, I have moved away or moved forward again and it doesn’t match the other person’s intention – embarrassing or what!! I’ve never actually tried the rubbing noses one though.
Hugging
Back to Research. It has been found by an American Neuroscientist, Paul Zak, that eight hugs a day are all it takes to feel the benefits of that wonderful oxytocin. As I’ve said before, I am so up for this form of touch and, if you are, then give yourself permission to do so. If you are not a hugging kind of a person then you can gently touch on another’s arm or allow your greeting to be a bit longer than usual.
Why?
You see, it matters because when you give and receive hugs and touch, your brain is in a more relaxed state, you feel happier and feel safer. This means a lot to your health and wellbeing. You also feel included rather than the social pain of exclusion. You and me, as human beings, have evolved to need others, and touch was part of that from the beginning of our life, as it most likely stimulates our life-force, not just on an emotional level but on a biological level inside our very cells. Something in touching strengthens that will to live in us. It allows us to receive that moment or more of letting go to, and trusting another. When we get a real, giving hug, we can feel supported and lean upon someone and rest.
A genuine, lovely warm smile is also so very important when we greet people – whether we know them or not. You must know the benefits of that too as it can cause you to smile in return, and can stay with you internally.
Also remember even better is that belly laugh – the one where you might not even know what you’re laughing at or about. It is so good for your resilience. I love this saying which I use a lot – ‘Laughter is good for the Soul as well as your wrinkles’ so an even better reason for doing it!
Resilience
I think you and I are amazing people to have resilience in order to cope with life’s hard knocks – simply amazing.
Some of you may quickly or slowly pick yourselves up, dust yourselves down (maybe with a helping hand) and get on with whatever it is you need to get on with (usually life!). And you may know of some for whom it may be too hard to get up again so they stay down longer and live life from that place for a while.
If you are lucky enough, sometimes a person spontaneously will be there for you as they are aware that you simply need that support or you may need to ask for that help too.
So are you with me? Is your hand up for more of the giving and receiving of Hugs? I hope so because mine definitely is!!
If my words touch you (you may even want those eight hugs) and you want to know that you really matter, then contact me (irene@irenebrankin.co.uk) and let’s see how I can do that for you. I hold you lightly and deeply – with a light touch and great depth.
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