In my work, there can be a lot ofneediness. Now there is nothing wrong with being needy as most of us are in
some form or another. It is important though to have awareness of this as it can cause others to turn away from you, get bored with you or even leave you.
I am using this blog to address how I might work with someone who has had enough of her boyfriends running away whenever she mentions the fact of having children.
In the work with me or someone else, I would suggest that you look at this over-riding need to start a family. It may be that if you looked at your own childhood family, you may discover if any threads came from your past.
Your need
It would seem that you have difficulty in seeing your part in them leaving you, due to your own need or even desperation to start a family. You would have to look at what this is about and how it would fulfil you. This over-riding drive has come from somewhere and you may be able to step back from it through gathering this awareness.
Sperm provider
It would also seem that you are causing them to feel they are simply the provider of the sperm rather than someone you can laugh, have fun with or even want to spend your life with. This may be what they are running away from rather than the relationship being the focus.
It would useful for you to stand in their shoes to see how this feels. Again, you may be asked to do some role play around this.
Letting go and Acceptance
In my opinion, once you let of your attachment to starting a family, you will start to see it for what it really is. You can then choose to change it or not from this clearer perspective.
Acceptance of your reality always precedes change or transformation, including that it may be right for something to change or not.
Pain
I imagine, you must be feeling much distress and pain at the moment and even anger, so please contact someone to talk it through with in order that you can gain some clarity.
I wish you well.
