As I’ve got older, I’ve found that there are not so many people that I really truly like – honest and true. I can be polite, pass the time of day and so on but perhaps there are actually only 50% that I enjoy, share deeply or lightly, laugh and have fun with.
Here are some of my criteria, and for you to ask yourself what might yours be?
- Would I take them back to my house?
- Would I want them to meet my family?
- Do I find them mean, bad-mannered and rude?
- Would I want to be in their company for any length of time?
- Do I really want to hang out with them?
- Do I simply not take to them at all?
Here are some message you might have received from childhood:
- Everyone has to like you/want to be in your company
- Put a smile on your face and just do it
- Play with them even if you don’t like them
- Be Popular/Don’t be too popular
- Stand out/Don’t stand out
- Be a People Pleaser
- Be nice to all and sundry
- Do everything you can, including giving yourself and your values away, to fit in
What to do?
- Know that you don’t have to put up with any abusive behaviour
- You can learn to put up boundaries
- Be Yourself
- You don’t have to work really hard at making things better
- You don’t have to fit in
And you come to the realisation that not everyone will like you and how you are!
This then gives you the awareness that you can become more tolerant of others, and the concept of difference in how you think and behave.
It is such a relief that you don’t have to like everybody and that is okay.
If you have people around you that you love/like want to spend real time with, and still want to include in new ones, then you are blessed.
You are living the life you want, doing what you want to do, enjoying the environment you have created for yourself. You are no longer dependent on what others think.
Life is about choice and you don’t have to be mean or rude. You know that you can still be caring of others and you are listening to yourself.
Remember, it can be uplifting when you truly realise that not everyone will like you and how you are!
You don’t have to play games anymore.
We are encouraged to bring our children up to be nice and considerate to everyone but that really isn’t the real world is it Irene. Really enjoyed reading your post. In the past I have always been a people pleaser only to be disappointed by others who are in a word ‘unkind’. I’m glad to say I’m not that person anymore and life is so much easier. Needed to have read your post when I was much younger 🙂
Thanks,Nicky, for your kind sharing and NO it is not our world. xx I’m enjoying seeing you grow in your blogs x
I do agree Irene….it’s so much easier when we can accept the fact that we are not going to like everyone, nor will everyone like us. My life is becoming full of people that truly enhance it and the people that don’t ‘fit’ anymore, are slowly falling away and in many ways I’m grateful, because I needed to have more time and room for the ones that really do mean so much. When one can really believe “I am important and I am not being selfish, I just want to be me”, life can become so much happier….personally speaking that is! 😉 xx
Thanks, Moya, for your words and I love what you believe in – keep it up x
What a brilliantly honest post, Irene. Well done! I wholeheartedly agree. My life has become a lot nicer after I decided that I don’t have to like everybody and “everybody” doesn’t have to like me. so many things become easier, like speaking your mind (without being hurtful of course) and giving from your heart when you surround yourself with those who accept you for who you are.
Thanks, Venita, much appreciated and so life is much better for us and it’s lovely to know you xx