For you, this could be an exciting moment in your life, a yippee, when your son or daughter leaves home to go to University, travel, get married or simply to their new home. You now have time for you. You’re free to explore what to do with the time you previously spent bringing them up. You too could go travelling, return to learning, fulfil the dreams you always had, move house, re-decorate your home, or just slop around indoors. Perhaps leave the moving house idea for a shortwhile at least as it can be disturbing for your children when they return home in the beginning, as that’s their safety!
I would say though, that perhaps don’t rush on to new things until you’ve checked out what your real feelings are.
For some of you, you may be experiencing a sense of uselessness due to the loss of your role in life – even if it’s full of activity, people and events. You can feel like a failure and have feelings of emptiness, a vacuum, a sense of waiting, that ’empty-nest syndrome’. Remember that this time of transition may be necessary as it can preclude change and movement. For the new to come in, the old has to fade away.
So start planning things in advance to reduce the shock element when your children do actually “fly the coop”. You need to remember that you are a person in your own right, as well as the Parent!
It’s your time to rediscover you again. Return to yourself.
So there’s a good side and a down side to your children leaving home. It means you have to face the reality of your own life now. The freedom you’ll have and by looking at your own life can cause you to make changes to it.
Accept that it’s normal to have whatever feelings you’re having. They’re yours, however anyone else is behaving. You don’t have to hide them – just acknowledge them. Whether you shed tears, or you’re rejoicing around the house!
There is a wide spectrum from loss to excitement and everything in between! Allow any or all of them to be there.
