How to deal with the ‘takers’ in your life

Okay, here is my rant about the Takers in life. I am sure you might have met some of them in-depth or simply in passing. And if you haven’t, then you are soooo lucky.

Who are they?

In my opinion, these are the ones who:

• Talk too much about themselves
• Talk too much about what they do
• Tell you what they can do for you (whether they can or not!) totally inappropriately
• Take over the conversation all the time
• Seem unable to realise that you would like to share too
• Don’t see that your eyes have glazed over
• Leave you drained and exhausted and yet you’re not sure why
• Don’t pick up on any signals from you or others that it’s time to move on
• Cut in before you have finished and tell you that that’s happened to them
• Are always telling you their problems/crises/fantastic happenings
• Offer to help and somehow it becomes ‘Oh you’ve finished! You should have asked!’
• Say – ‘Oh I really love what you’re doing. I’ll come’ then don’t let you know they’re not coming afterall

AND …

I know that I am guilty of one or two of them on occasion (well maybe more than that!!) as I’m only human, but what I’m talking about here is the total lack of awareness that anyone else exists except them! EMPATHY is not part of their vocabulary!

How to deal with them:

I am encouraging you to –

• Say ‘NO’ simply and clearly
• Move away from their monopoly of you in whatever way is good for you
• Smile, look at your watch and say ‘I have to catch/do …’
• Say, ‘I’d like to take a raincheck on this for later’
• Not allow their energy to disturb you – let go and move on
• Remember you deserve to be in the company of compassionate, caring. lively people
• Withdraw your energy from them so you protect yourself
• Accept them as they are and you can choose not to be around them
• Limit your interactions with them
• Don’t allow yourself to be manipulated as they are well versed in this
• In a group, say clearly – we have to move on now
• On an appropriate occasion, tell them in private what you’ve observed (scary one to do) and see what their response is…

Where I am in my life, I’m not willing to waste any more of my time and energy. Anyone else?