RESILIENCE
Come to the edge, Life said.
They said: We are afraid.
Come to the edge, Life said.
They came.
Life pushed them,
And they flew. (Guilliame Appollinaire)
How do we actually cope with life some times? Do you know? I don’t.
I think you and I are amazing people to have resilience in order to cope with life’s hard knocks – simply amazing. 
Some of you slowly pick yourselves up, dust yourselves down (maybe with a helping hand) and get on with whatever it is you need to get on with (usually life!).
Some of you bounce back with no apparent ill-effects and do whatever it is you need to do. I’m reminded here of that child’s toy that simply refused to stay down however hard it was knocked about. I know my son and grandchildren had them anyway.
And you may know of some for whom it may be too hard to get up again so they stay down and live life from that place.
There are no judgements here. It is important that you listen to yourself and may even choose to get help in order to do whatever is right for you.
Definition of Resilience
You might have your own definition, as simple as the words I’ve used above, and here are some more –
The ability to spring back into shape
The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties
Toughness
The capacity to withstand stress and catastrophe
Here are my Tips for dealing with adversity
Each of you will have found your own way of dealing with everyday changes and challenges to the small and some pretty big happenings in your life. And some of you may be reflecting on your experiences right now while reading my blog.
You see, for most of us, this capacity to deal with all the ups and downs of life normally comes through our personal development, our knowledge of ourself and others, and through our belief systems.
Here are some of my tips to enable you to adapt life’s adversity:
Trust yourself and your choices even if these are wrong as you will learn from them
Know that it is okay to ask for Help
Allow yourself to express your feelings at these stresses i.e. let go in whatever way appropriate for you
See yourself as resilient and not a victim
Allow yourself to be disheartened and then deal with the issue
Make a list of all you’ve dealt with in the past
Know that your life is not set in stone
Draw on your close relationships
Be grateful for all that’s good in your life
Tell ‘you’ in the mirror, WE can deal with this
Have Faith
Know that there is meaning in life
And finally, when you are ready – to laugh at the craziness of life
I’d like to leave you with this – ‘Laughter is good for the Soul as well as your wrinkles’
I’d love to know your ways of coping with life. And have a look at my website www.thevisiblewoman.com where you will find information on my upcoming Residential Retreat in Majorca. I also offer Supervision and ‘check-in’ sessions for those who’ve already experienced personal development work.
Terrific thoughts, per usual! For me, the one thing I’ve always used to deal with the hard knocks…my faith. I lean on God pretty hard sometimes because I’m usually feeling very inadequate.
I’m also going to try the talking to the YOU in the mirror! That’s a great one!
It’s great to know how you cope, Robyn, and how God is your leaning post. Enjoy speaking with yourself in the mirror xxx
Great tips. I don’t think we ask for help often enough!
Thanks, Tamsin, for your comments. And no, we’re usually too busy trying to hide our vulnerability! x
Tasmin excellent post really offering a lifeline of tips and advice that would really help someone in a challenging situation and help them to step out of being a victim to being in charge of their feelings and their situation in order to change it. Well done 🙂
Thanks, Carrie, for taking the time to comment (I know you meant Irene!) and for your support xx
The easiest way for me to deal with enormous problems – and there have been quite a few is to realize that it won’t kill you, give you the plague or break both your legs. Once you have got back up off the ground – it’s too drafty & hard down there; look at it as a set of problems – not as one insurmountable problem.
Electric cut off, OK buy some candles and get advice from CAB; family member seriously ill? – find out what’s really wrong and then just help, from bringing in clean nightwear to tidying their home up ready for their return – it gives you something positive to do & you haven’t got time to feel sorry for yourself.
Too many bills & broke, get advice. Even a spouse leaving, work out what you want to do next – be positive – even if you accept that you will have no more smelly socks to wash & you can watch Corrie without a whinge match!
Accept what you can’t change – even if you do have to have a go & enjoy the changes you can make. Be positive xx
Thanks, Pat, for your grounded, positive, take charge advice and for taking the time to comment. xx
Love that saying Irene
An inspiring post! As always. Thank you for sharing 🙂
Thanks, Steve. And so do I – wasn’t sure it was appropriate AND I decided to put it in ‘cos I liked it xx