GLORIOUSLY IMPERFECT
Are you always striving to be ‘The Perfect Professional, Mother, Partner, Friend, Speaker, Blogger …………….?
Perhaps you’re not and how lucky you are then. All I can say is that for me that’s what I was unconsciously trying to do for many years until one day I woke up and decided to see what this was all about. I couldn’t cope with the weight on my shoulders any more. The pressure was affecting my health, my life and everyone else around me.
Beliefs
For me, I had to uncover the beliefs I was holding whether consciously or unconsciously to see where they came from and how they were playing out in my life in all different ways. For me to change my beliefs involved me in emotional turmoil (both positive and negative) and involved me in loss, uncertainty and eventually action. I had an innate sense of fear (not the excitement of later) as I didn’t know how the outcome would pan out.
And as you will all know by now, when we were young, we all wanted to be loved, accepted and included so we took on and absorbed the views of those around us. Amongst other things, we felt scared, hurt, confused, angry or overwhelmed and so we concluded that ‘they’ were right in what they said, or even didn’t say as they withheld praise or whatever. We had an intuitive antenna of what was acceptable or not – including us!!
And so we took on beliefs about the world and ourselves.
I’m not good enough
I’m not worthy
I mustn’t be visible
I must be visible
I mustn’t do this, that or the other or I won’t be liked and accepted
The world is dangerous
Don’t go there or do that
And so on
This is how you coped with the world because you were little and they were the ‘big people’. You needed to be part of a family, a community or something because that was just how it was.
Discontented
Nowadays, there can be even more pressure as what was perfectly acceptable is no longer okay so your expectations get higher of yourselves and others and then you feel discontented with life. In some cases, this discontentment can be what drives us on – gives us the fuel to ignite our fire!
For others though it can drag you down, moan, groan and generally make life miserable all around for yourself and others.
Exercise
I’d like to suggest you try what I’m going to suggest as if you hold a belief e.g. I am not worthy, I’d like you to say it as if it is 100% true. What this will do is produce specific sensations in your body whether you are conscious of them or not – have a go.
Then I’d like you to shake that off in whatever way is right for you to let go (listen to your body and it may want to dance or run it off, bash a pillow or whatever) and then to feel what it’s like to believe – I am a worthy human being. Again feel the difference in your Body, Feelings and Mind.
And so you have experienced the effect of having changed one of your beliefs (you can choose one appropriate for you) and so you can begin to see that you can change your life by taking charge of it!!!
Acceptance and Respect
If you accept and respect yourself then your own sense of self-worth will soar and then you will have some left over for others.
Remember being ‘good enough’ anything is always almost good enough and when you settle for ‘good enough’, you may find out that it’s perfect after all and so are you!
I’ll leave you with questions – Do you have to be perfect? Can you be good enough and be able to celebrate you as a woman who is not perfect and who is able to celebrate being gloriously imperfect, and take the strain off your shoulders?
You can e-mail me directly to book a 30 minute Discovery Call for us to have a chat about exploration of your next step.
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