Control, Power & Change

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Control, Power and Change

 

I have heard many women (and men too of course) say  – ‘I am in charge of my life because I’m not afraid of change and so I’ll always be in control and have power’.

 

And I want to say– ‘It’s not true – as you are not!!    What you are in charge of is your response to whatever is happening in your life.    You are in control of the choices you make and that’s all.  That then is the power you have whether you are afraid of change or not!’

 

Fear of Change

 

For me, the fear of change is a natural reaction regardless of what you might say.  Usually it can cause confusion, anger, fear, withdrawal, hesitation and denial in the first instance especially when you are being congratulated all round for whatever and inside you are going ‘maybe I’m not ready’ or words to that effect.   And, for some, there’s even excitement at the possibility of the new in there too.

 

Nothing Lasts

 

There is a truth that says – Nothing Lasts – but when you ignore this, it brings about a lot of suffering.

 

Why?

 

It comes from you clinging or hanging onto things – old ideas, beliefs, habits, jobs, people, homes, success, money – even relationships, so much so that you are taken aback or even shocked when someone leaves you, moves away, does something different, made redundant and so on.

 

Most of us want to be happy and avoid suffering so we close our eyes and cling onto what we want to see or know. We go into denial at the possibility of change – good or bad!

 

We fight against any changes and don’t accept that CHANGE happens whether you want it to or not. For some, it is about wanting to pull the duvet over their head and saying to themselves that when we wake up it won’t have happened –  it was a bad dream!!   It takes a lot of strength (no wonder exhaustion comes in) to hold on to the status quo.  It takes even more strength to let go of what you can’t change – how many times you try!!!

 

AND then there is that wonderful moment when you look through the eyes of courage and see that change is exciting and so full of life (even if it can be in a quiet way).

 

Courage

 

What I’m talking about here is that having courage doesn’t mean you’re not afraid.  It means that, in spite of your fear, hesitation and digging your heels in, you take a deep breath and go ahead anyway – perhaps with someone alongside you giving you support.

 

Life Changes

 

When you have true awareness that life changes (just look at our Seasons and the ageing process, however, much we may try to fight it), goes round in circles and has ups and downs whether we want it to or not – then you can roll with the punches as is said.

 

As nothing in this life is permanent, are you ready to step outside of your comfort zone and put your hands up for change?  I know it can be a big risk as you are showing your vulnerability.  And for me, your true power comes from your vulnerability, not from trying to control and fix life.

 

I trust that you will stand in your power and come from that place that says,  ‘nothing ventured, nothing gained’ and embrace the small and large changes in your life.

 

I’d love to know how you are handling control, power and change in your life.

 

PS  One of the changes may be to own your power and re-connect with you again is to sign up for my next Workshop – 16^th & 17^th April at Pontlands Park Hotel, Great Baddow, Essex.  More information is on my website.   Look forward to seeing you there x

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