Sometimes we don’t realise or acknowledge how fond of someone we are until they go away – this could be through illness, death, change of job or moving house.
It’s not only the major losses that are important to acknowledge, it’s also the more usual changes that most of us don’t even think too much about.
What about when someone leaves their position or goes on holiday or no longer attends the same exercise class? Yes, at times it can be a relief or a big sigh of “thank goodness” but in the main we dismiss our feelings of loss – that we simply miss them.
So what I’m saying here is for you to store up your memories of that person or happening, and allow yourself time to think of when you argued, laughed, simply nodded in passing, or shared special insights of offered support. Why? Because out of the blue, at unexpected moments, those memories will give you that connection with the person, people or happening wherever they are and whatever it was.
I think the definition that the American writer, Brene Brown, uses ring so true. She sees “Connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgement; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship”. Lovely words that warm my heart as we can forget that from the moment we’re born, we’re wired for connection. It’s in our biology – to thrive emotionally, physically, spiritually and intellectually.
We need to let go of the myth of self-sufficiency – “I’m going it alone or I don’t need anyone or I can do it all by myself”. Not so. We need other people in our lives whether as friends, acquaintances, lovers, supporters – as mirrors to show that our existence counts, and that we matter.
It’s good to take a pause and connect again with those memories as you move through life.
