This is what most of us are actually saying to ourselves when we have a chance to move forward or to change our way of thinking or our life.
Too scary is what we are really saying. And yet on some level, we do want to change but it’s the consequences we don’t like – good or bad.
How often have you been secretly relieved, for example, when something is cancelled or you become ill and can’t attend? Or you say to yourself that you didn’t have the money or the time to do whatever it was. You tell everyone that it was such a shame as you were so looking forward to doing or attending the event. And you probably were, but if it meant it was going to cause too much upheaval or take up too much energy or effort, you were probably hoping something would happen so you didn’t have to change.
Be honest with yourself the next time and see how it is to say – “I didn’t really want to change or step out of my comfort zone (however appealing it seemed). I really want everything to be the same as it is what I know, and I feel safe there”. You’ll know your own words that will make sense to you, so say those to yourself.
Catch yourself the next time it happens, when you go into denial of your true feelings, and see how it feels to be honest with yourself.
There’s not much point in lying to yourself about “I want to change but not if it means changing”. At least then you take back your choice and know that the power lies within you.
