Is this what’s holding you back in Life?
I read this somewhere – “Success is being comfortable with yourself regardless of what’s going on around you” – and for the life of me can’t remember where, so my apologies that there is no acknowledgement.
Self Doubt
Do you relate to the quote above? If not, you may have your own variation on this as. In my opinion and from my own personal and professional experience over many years, I believe it is Self Doubt that holds most of us back in our life. It stops us from standing in our own power and being visible in the world with our values, integrity and knowing that we have much to offer.
Self Doubt is what stops you from being Your Self in the world and therefore holds you back from being true to yourself!!! Quite simply, it stops you from stepping up and stepping out.
Why?
Why do we have self-doubt? Because we are frightened somewhere inside us that we are going to be found out as a someone who is not as able as they appear. Before I go any further, I’d like you to check out these questions below –
Do you secretly doubt and not trust others’ praise of you?
Outwardly do you appear to have everything together and inwardly you don’t?
Are you unable to recognise your talents, gifts and qualities?
Do you have the feeling of sometimes not feeling you deserve all your success in whatever form it is even when others do?
Are you waiting for your world to come crashing down on you at some point and then you will be found out as lacking/exposed as not being good enough?
Do you feel like you are being something/someone you are not – even that you are conning the rest of us – and why can’t they see through you?
Are you becoming exhausted trying to hide who you see yourself as – a fraud or even a charming con artist who can pull the wool over others’ eyes?
Are you afraid you won’t be accepted by others if they really knew and saw you?
Do you have the feeling inside that you don’t fit in and fear being found out as not being up to the task in your professional life in particular
Do you feel you are not good enough and that you are in competition with the rest of the successful, capable women?
I would say that, in my opinion, most of us will answer or have answered ‘Yes’ to these questions. Well, this is what the Imposter Syndrome is all about. It’s like the Emperor/Empress has no clothes but no one is saying that to us and we are waiting for the day they will.
I want to say here though that it’s the old one – if you know you are a fraud somehow or another and feel that it’s only a matter of time before you are found out, then actual frauds don’t feel like this!!! So that is a good start.
So what do we do about it?
Being comfortable in your own skin is what it is all about. It isn’t just being able to get along and carry on fooling people as this causes exhaustion and stops us being ourselves. It is about us being able to love and get along with ourselves too with all our imperfections as well as all that is great about us.
Nobody tells us this in a way that can be truly believed until we believe it ourselves. This is such a long journey to make and some don’t do it for whatever reason and so may die yearning to be seen as themselves and live the life they always wanted to live without a mask covering themselves up.
It is about being able to say to the world –
I am just fine with being me
You see it is fine not to be perfect and not to have to hide ourselves behind the various masks we show the world. It is such a weight lifted from your shoulders when you are able to say – I love this woman I see in the mirror!
I am not saying that it is easy as it means that our vulnerability and our strength can be seen by all and this can mean that some will move on to those who have all the trappings of success ‘as it is normally held’.
I want you to love being you in the fullness of you – your creativity, warmth, presence, humour, not-knowing, knowingness, anger, tears, laughter, compassion and your feistiness.
Go Well.
I sit alongside successful women and have their back while they are exploring being at ease with themselves. Contact me irene@irenebrankin.co.uk or via my website www.thevisiblewoman.com and look forward to hearing from you.
