What have YOU GIVEN UP of YOURSELF to fit in?
In my opinion, we all want to be loved, to be respected, to be included in life, to feel that our existence matters – it can be as simple and as difficult as that.
It can also feel though that you have to give up something(s) of yourself in order to get one, some or all of those wants met.
Fitting in
Has that been the journey you have been, or are, on? It has been for me and I would stick my neck out and say it is that way for most of us.
What I, and you, usually do (or have done) is to hide away the parts of ourselves we feel aren’t acceptable to ourselves or others in order to fit in. We are usually ashamed of them and don’t want to own them as being part of us.
Perhaps we were told when we were growing up ‘nobody will like or want you if you do this or that’ and so we put these parts of us away and learned what to do, say, show or whatever in order to be accepted.
I am sure you’ve known, met or seen (particularly nowadays in politics), the phoney act put on by some – this ‘real’ act has a rehearsed quality – false smile or frown or tears or interest, lack of spontaneity and you know you haven’t made a true connection with them somehow. They just don’t feel genuine.
Sacrifice
I know that when you realise just what you’ve sacrificed of yourself to be accepted, you will want to feel alive again after the years of doing what is expected of you in the cage you have allowed yourself to be in.
When you take the ‘bull by the horns’ and have the courage to get to know these parts of you, you will no longer be exhausted by the battle of hiding them away – you will be energised as you will find that getting to know ourself is one of the most rewarding and powerful adventures we can have.
Why?
Why would you do that? You will be more comfortable with yourself and so more at peace with yourself. You will begin living life in accordance with your own truth. You will be free to be yourself, be authentic and to experience life in your way – not the way of others – and so will become more self-accepting, self-caring and self-loving.
You won’t have to squash these parts of yourself down any more and will find you can include so much more or you – your joy, excitement, pain, despair, wisdom, silence and laughter.
For some, life may not even look any different and yet what has changed is you will have the inner freedom and choice to take responsibility for your life.
How this comes about is by you making your choices, whether right or wrong, and taking responsibility for them. It’s about you stopping blaming others or the past events in your life or using your stories to tell yourself or anyone else that you or they can’t risk doing whatever it is they want to do!!
Your roots or your past are what made you, however much you may try to deny them and so it is then your choice on how you turn your face to the world and move on in whatever way you choose to do that.
Tough Love
After my time in Intensive Care, I needed to turn my face from the world for a while as I needed to withdraw from life. I needed to do this in order to heal and the ordeal I’d been through caused me to find the anger, or caged tiger, within as I saw more clearly the meaning of my life. That time of withdrawal has given me gratitude for life, and also the courage to challenge the system or the norm and come from a place of ‘tough love’. It means that I do care and I’m not attached to that caring.
Those who know or work with me may not always like this because I don’t express the normal way of caring. I don’t play the game anymore!! I know that I come from a place of love and hold life as sacred. I want for you to live the life you are capable of and not hide yourself away. This is my want for you!!!
So remember that You are unique – there is no one else like you and what you are here to do is express that uniqueness by being yourself. It is so simple and we make it so complicated. Once more, this is a fact, there is no one else like you!!!
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row admin_label=”Row”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_image admin_label=”Image” src=”http://www.thevisiblewoman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/IreneSignature.jpg” show_in_lightbox=”off” url_new_window=”off” use_overlay=”off” animation=”off” sticky=”off” align=”left” force_fullwidth=”off” always_center_on_mobile=”on” use_border_color=”off” border_color=”#ffffff” border_style=”solid”] [/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row admin_label=”Row”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_text admin_label=”Text” background_layout=”light” text_orientation=”left” use_border_color=”off” border_color=”#ffffff” border_style=”solid”]Love to have a chat, then contact me on irene@irenebrankin.co.uk or via my website www.thevisiblewoman.com
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Very true words Irene. So many of us girls go through life just trying to be liked and fitting in. I am one of the lucky ones, like yourself, that life has tested and shown a different way to live. Let’s hope your wise words help many others.
It’s great to know we’ve been there, done that and got the ‘t’ shirt, Hilary, and life goes on with a choice in it!!! xxx
Thanks so much for these inspiring words. i want to share them with the world 🙂
Thank you, Sharon, and I’d love you to do that xx