Waiting To Be Found Out??

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WAITING TO BE FOUND OUT??

 

Imposter Syndrome

 

The term ‘Imposter Syndrome’ was termed more than 40 years ago as the feeling of always waiting to be found out. This feeling undermines your self-confidence and can happen at any time to any of us – even those people you might think of as being famous. One or two examples would be Seth Godin (I subscribe to his site) who said that he still feels like a fraud even although he is very successful, and the multi-talented and much missed, Maya Angelou said that ‘they’re going to find me out‘ -even although both of them have written about a dozen books each!! And, of course there are many more.

 

Do you know these feelings?

 

In my own professional life (I’ll talk about myself in a minute!) working with successful women, I discovered that this feeling really is quite normal. It can bring up –

worry, concern, fear, shame, embarrassment, overwhelm, wanting to hide away, comparing yourself with others and being found wanting …….

You are waiting to be ‘found out’ as not being as –

smart or talented or knowledgeable or deserving or experienced as others.

Anyone know any of these feelings I’ve listed above?  Well, join the clan as I know that I do, and have definitely done so for most of my life even with degrees, diplomas, being a Director of a Training Organisation, European President of my Psychotherapy Training model, teaching, supervising and facilitating groups in the U.K. and abroad. I thought I’d own it here as I work with women about this very thing!

 

Possible Ways

 

These are some of the ways maybe you are, or have been caught in the Imposter Syndrome –

• You put everything down to luck (I’ve always said that I was lucky in doing/meeting) – noooo way did you deserve whatever it was or that you actually worked hard for it or queried others’ judgement of you as being correct
• You feel you didn’t deserve success as you didn’t earn it
• You doubt your own abilities
• You or It wasn’t perfect (whatever it was)
• You fail to celebrate your successes
• You compare yourself unfavourably to high fliers (the top 5%)
• You fail to give yourself credit

Anything familiar there? Let me know what your one is.

 

Self-Doubt

 

In my opinion, the self-doubt you feel, is because you don’t feel worthy of it. “I don’t deserve it for some reason from the past”. I would never believe that some things were easy for me and I remember (when I was told at work that I was doing so well) somehow ending up making a mess of it. Now I realise I didn’t want the success and somehow being different from them. I wanted us all to be equal!

This is all well and good, and yet I wasn’t allowing myself to be visible with my gifts just in case I would be found out somehow as wanting and could be shot down. No wonder I wrote a book called ‘The Visible Woman’ because it was a message to me!!!

Something you can do about it

 

The first thing I want to say is that I want you to really realise is that the Imposter Syndrome is a sign that you are committed to giving your best to whatever you’re involved in. Unfortunately, the down side to this is that you don’t always know your own value or bring that to the table!

It’s about knowing and acknowledging your own worth and value both internally and externally.

In my opinion, you can be confident in your abilities, and at ease with others’ compliments, without being arrogant or big-headed or even afraid of others’ thoughts and feelings about you. Simply accepting with grace and ease.

Again, in my opinion, when you allow yourself to be seen in your vulnerability as well as your glory, you allow others permission to do the same. You don’t have to be afraid of being found wanting – you are allowing yourself to be visible. This is what brings about the change internally and then everything else can fall into place.

Go well.

 

I work with Successful Women who feel they are a fraud and are waiting to be found out. I walk alongside them while they are re-connecting with their value and worth so they can really delight in themselves. If you’d like to chat with someone who has been there, done that and got the ‘t’shirt, then contact me with your number and we can have a call.

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