I don’t know about you, I find this can cause me to feel smaller inside. Perhaps, to all intents and purposes, I
am even looking fine on the outside while I am handling someone rejecting me or saying ‘No’ to me.
Over the years, I have to say that I have got much better in dealing with it. Still and all, it can happen depending on who is doing it and the circumstances I am in.
Confusion
People confuse it with failure. It’s not that. Rejection is about you feeling it personally. YOU have been rejected not what you’ve said, or done or whatever. At that moment, the whole world has rejected you!!!
Unavoidable
Unfortunately rejection is unavoidable when you live in the world. It is all about how you respond to it that actually matters. Quite simply, it is all about you picking yourself up and starting all over again even if all you want to do is hide away with your pain, tears, humiliation, shame and even anger. You can choose to put your mask on, smile and nod until you are able to move away from the person(s). You can then go home and give yourself some comfort.
Who knows?
When you have stepped back, taken a deep breath, you may find that it is nothing to do with you at all. It may simply be that whoever (and however it’s done) may be having a bad day themselves or are truly unable to include or help you. Or they actually may actually feel superior rejecting you because they are envious of you!! Who knows what’s behind it. If you are able to, and have the courage, you could ask them. Then at least you could get clearer.
Remember, rejection is only someone else’s opinion and it doesn’t have to be true!
Assessment
I have had experience on the other side too as when I worked in Sweden as a Supervisor, I had to assess people and it was not easy to say ‘No for now, you are not ready in my opinion’. This would seem that I was rejecting them rather than their skills. Pretty stressful time for all of us, I must say. I knew they were feeling rejected by me at that time even although I had a good relationship with them.
When I look back, I can see that most, if not all of them, could later see the reason behind my decision and became my biggest supporters.
So I will end by saying to you to look in the mirror, acknowledge whatever it is you are feeling, give yourself a little or big smile and slowly touch your face. Then tell yourself that you love you, and in your opinion you are a good human being who is still learning about life.
Onwards and upwards x
True – when for example our application is turned down we think we are turned down ie rejected. We can feel deflated. Handling rejection is part of life. I remember a former boss I had who said having to tell people their jobs were redundant in her previous company was the hardest thing she had to do in her career. She said she used to go home and cry. So both the ‘sender’ and ‘receiver’ can be affected. Thanks for this post
Thanks for commenting, Zoe, much appreciated AND it is difficult for all concerned xx