REFLECTING DEEPER ON OTHERS’ REACTIONS

Have you ever thought of how other people react towards you?    What usually happens for most of us is that we take it on ourselves as  –

It must be my fault

It’s my behaviour

I wonder what I’ve done or said

Oh, I’m such an idiot

Why did I say or do that?

I have to do something or else I won’t be liked

Never liked them anyway

I have to grovel

I have to suck up to them now!

You will know yourself what your usual reaction is so add it to the list!!

Anyway, I thought it might be useful to look at what might be happening behind others’ reactions towards you in any situation.   Here goes –

• Killing with kindness – there are many apparently ‘kind’ acts which may actually be a form of aggression, e.g. being offered a luscious cream cake when you are on a diet
• Undermining – someone stressing the danger or negative aspects of your plans so as to undermine your confidence
• Withdrawal – physical of psychological withdrawing from you by becoming distant or uncommunicative and making you feel guilty
• Being unco-operative – making life difficult for you in small ways is a common way of expressing anger e.g. always being late or promising to do things but not actually doing them!
• No praise – somehow or another you never get praised from them even although no obvious criticism and your confidence in your abilities can be gradually undermined

You’ll probably be able to see how much of these are actually passive-aggressive behaviour.

Do you recognise any of these behaviours in yourself or those around you?   The above can give you room for thought anyway as you reflect on them.

Love to have any comments.